Logo Cop: Mass offence

Every single business in London is to be sued in a landmark case being brought by the Olympic branding committee. They will claim for damages of over £4.5bn from over 748,000 businesses. (Clockwise from left, some of the offenders: a college, a gay night, a tandoori, and a shop of useless things)

God save the Queen

The Queen will be dropping into the stadium again having picked up a taste for base jumping at the opening ceremony. Buckingham Palace hinted that she may even be taking her pastel blue wingsuit for a test flight, weather permitting.

Wiggins-wear hits the Hoy street

The Wiggins Effect has rubbed off onto fashion conscious Londoners, all proudly sporting yellow tops in Bradley's honour.

Olympic fever infects Vauxhall city farm

This sheep has gone Olympic crazy; its favourite event is the fencing,
favourite athlete: British fencer, Natalia Sheppard of course.

Logo Cop: Italian bakery brought to justice

This was the scene at De Lietto's bakery on South Island Place earlier today. Authorities were up in arms at what could prove to be the most serious case of Logo-jacking yet. Distressed proprietor Giovanni said: "Diavolo! I had no idea I was going to get into such trouble for my seemingly innocent arrangements of bread and salami." The inquiry continues.

Information Meltdown

We can report that the official Olympic information telly at 'the village' is bust. For more information stewards recommend that everyone make their way to one of the 10 multi-million pound pin-boards for almost recent updates. In the meantime other inventive ways of transferring information are being arranged. (pictured below)

Logo Cop: A traitor walks into a bar

 

The Meltdown has received these photos of an 'Olympic-themed pop-up bar': a blatant abuse of the Olympic Vision. Shaking with anger (pictured above) they told the promoter: "The only pop-up bar I'll be watching is the javelin."

Live from the Olympic Star Wars re-enactment

The umpire strikes back

Second biggest day of the year for Murray

Andy Murray faces Roger Federer in the Olympic Tennis Final today. This will the second most important match of the year for the English star after a crushing defeat to Federer at Wimbledon last month.

My walk here is done

The hard walk paid off for 19 year old Chen Ding who ambled 20km in 1:18.46, a world Race Walk record and another gold for China. Ding was seen high five-ing spectators as he approached the line.

Our man Ivan Trotski finished a very respectable 16th in 1:21.23. 

Concern has been raised over the training regimes of Chinese athletes, who are said to live on a schedule of all walk and no play.

If you haven't seen enough of the super stroll, the men's 50km is next Saturday at 9am, the women's 20km at 5pm. History will be made.

Logo Cop: Jumping on the brand wagon

Christian Science brimming with O***pic Spirit

Travel Competition Answer: Wally Exposed

Wally was spotted yesterday above the Stratford centre. Sadly there were no winners and nobody earned our respect this time.

Where am I?

Crowds collected this evening in Euston to use this handy new walking-distance timer. We came on foot from Green Park to Euston, at a medium pace, with 2 stops to allow the crowds of Olympic revellers to pass. That was at 4pm. Any calculations of what time it is now, how far we've gone, at what speed, and burning how many calories appreciated. Answers can be sent on a postcard directly to Euston, no chance of getting out of here for a while yet. #hotspot

'Beach' Volleyball - an actual sport

It has come to the Meltdown's attention that beach volleyball, not just a state-of-mind-normal-volleyball, is in fact played on a beach transported into the Mall. A surprised onlooker said: "I'm surprised, I wasn't expecting this at all, it's messed up."

Olympic lanes chock full

Olympic lanes, intended to ease the passage of athletes and officials, are forming hazardous clots due to the build up of fatty substances around key arterial junctions. 
(Pictured left)

Breaking News: God's Kingdom at Hand

Fresh concern has been poured over the London transport system's ability to cope with the unexpected arrival of God's kingdom. Already struggling under weight of the Olympics it is thought that the Rapture will cause severe delays. 

Carl Hamblin (right) however, believes that the tube, bus and overground services will not be affected, on account of God moving "in mysterious ways". 

Precious little else has been revealed about the closing ceremony, although the Spice Girls are rumoured to be making an appearance.

Travel Update & Competition: Where's Wally?

Elusive VIP Wally has been spotted in the Stratford Station queues.

Can you find Wally?

To win our respect send us your answer via email or twitter. Answer revealed tomorrow morning.

Pictured: Officials overwhelmed in Stratford.

olympicmeltdown@gmail.com/
‏@OlympicMeltdown

Logo Cop: Brand pirates exposed

Cable coffee shop on Brixton road trying to make a quick buck and showing flagrant disregard for regulation.

Posted on their own wi-fi.

The man who could have run, but chose to walk

Walk on the wild side: Ivan Trotski

With only 36 hours to the big event, crowds are already gathering in anticipation of the Mens 20km Race Walk. 59 Olympic daredevils will race around St James's Park whilst keeping at least one foot on the ground at all times. Aside from one very literal interpretation of the phrase, this will be no walk in the park. Olympic Meltdown has picked Ivan Trotski (right) as favourite. The 36 year old Belarusian may not have beaten his 20km personal best (1-19:40) since 2003, but he certainly looks like he means business.

The event is open to non-ticket holders, Constitution Hill, 5pm Saturday 4 Aug. No Hats, hoodies, trainers or unofficial branding.

Live Weather Update: Que sera, sera

Optimistic outlook as meterologists identify enough blue sky to "fill a dutchman's trousers".

Logo Cop: Who to sue?

Accompanying Richard Godwin's excellent piece on Pg 37 of the Evening Standard, some saucy picture editor has recreated our beloved rings with Dr Dre's vulgar headphones.

This is clearly unacceptable, but who should we sue?

Dre or the Standard?


Meltdown says, "Sue them both, TILL THEIR EYES POP OUT OF THEIR HEADS"

Estate agent's Olympic success not yet labelled the 'Murray Effect'

This estate agent is back in business, having put the memories of Wimbledon firmly behind them.

Avian strain of Olympic fever confirmed

First diagnosed in a Harris hawk, Olympic fever now sets
a flock of pigeons aflap.

Murray Mince

English tennis star Andy Murray is through to the Olympic semi-finals, showing that he and the rest of Britain have completely forgotten about Wimbledon.

"I'm doing this for Queen and country." Murray told the Meltdown.

The 'Phillips Effect' takes London police by storm

Silver medalist Z-Philly has been an inspiration to London cops who are taking to the saddle in droves.

"Horses are great for stomping spectators with." said one rozzer, "I can't wait till someone puts a foot out of line, stomp stomp stomp, hur hur!"

Live Traffic Update: STAY AWAY

Above: Whitehall is a no-go zone at present.
Left: Stewards take a break from the crush.

Harris hawk catches Olympic fever

This Harris hawk is possessed by Olympic spirit. His favourite athletes are Chris Harris (NZ, rowing), Geoffrey Harris (Canada, 800m swimming) Giordan Harris (Marshall Islands, 50m swimming) and Tremain Harris (Canada, 200m sprint).

Sponsor Watch: Cheeseburger Meltdown

Look closely: This health conscious sponsor has
foregone his chips. Now that's what I call a happy meal.

Live Travel Update: Stay at home if you know what's good for you

Chaos

Pandemonium engulfs Stockwell and Sloane Square. Savvy Londoners stear clear.

Pictured: Troubling scenes at tube stations earlier today.

Distress

Anarchy

Lockdown

Reader's Meltdown: Potty Regulation

Courageous Meltdown reader @jamiealways sent us this shameless piece of atheletism. Taken in Battersea Park, miles from any athletes at all. 


We hope you make it @jamiealways; our legs are crossed for you at this urgent time.

Are athletes blocking your road to relief?
We want to know.
Olympicmeltdown@gmail.com

Logo Cop: Protecting the good brand

Naughty Non-Spon Co-op head over heels in the glory of something British. Definitely not the Olympic Games or Wimbledon.